How To Be Independent In a Relationship

Abduljabbar Ramadhan Ali
11 min readMay 10, 2021

Being independent in a relationship is so much important to everyone. It’s one of the things that will build your relationship in a healthy.

You will be able to grow since you will be supporting each of the necessary parts that your life at large requires.

The moment you are in a relationship and you are independent you get to give your partner enough time to focus on what matters than being constantly worried about your situation.

You have to make your relationship not a burden to your partner. I do agree that partners in a relationship have to support and build each other.

So, when you hear this from people don’t just sit down and relax and wait for your partner to support you on everything.

You will really make it hard for your partner. That is why it very important to be independent in a relationship but no too independent.

So, how can you be independent in a relationship?

This is how you become independent in your relationship;

1. Don’t rely on your partner too much on simple things that you can solve.

This is the first thing you should do if you want to be independent in your relationship. You have to stand up on your own and solve the little things you come across without any assistance from your bae.

You don’t have to wait for him to come all the way from work to come and help you make decisions about your dinner. You have been dating him for a while, it’s obvious you know the kind of food he prefers.

Make dinner for him and keep it ready. This is for women.

As a man, you shouldn’t wait for your partner to come and help you mop the house, do laundry and empty the trash. Make a point of keeping everything in order.

Do all your cleaning if you have the ability, let her come if your room is so clean and everything is in the right place.

You should at least do this once a week if it’s possible and let the other times she gets the opportunity of helping you out.

When you do this you end up becoming a responsible person in your relationship. You become independent in a way that your partner will be happy about.

In short, if you have the ability to solve an issue on your own about the relationship then go ahead. You don’t have to rely too much on him or her to help you fix things.

2. Work on your goals dreams no matter what your partner says about it.

For you to be independent you will have to make sure that you work on your goals so that you can achieve the best from them.

If you made your goals keep on working on them because that is what will make your life good and you become independent.

I know even before you met him or her you were working on what you wanted to be in the future. So don’t let your relationship with your partner interfere with the dreams you were pursuing.

These goals that you were working on are what will make you become independent once everything goes in a way that you desire.

The truth is that relationship is not all about love, romance, and sex. If you are working towards something very serious then you will have to handle your relationship with your partner like you are married.

I’m talking about working on your goals because these are the only things that will make you stand for yourself and for your partner.

If you stop working on your goals because of your partner you have to know that you will never be independent. You will have to depend on your partner who might be where he or she wants to be.

Work on your dreams and build your life in a good shape; this is one of the ways that you will become independent.

3. Stand for what you believe is right in your relationship.

You will never be able to be independent in your relationship if you will not stand on what you believe is right.

No matter what happens in your relationship, you should always stand on what you think it’s right for you and your relationship.

You might be in a relationship with someone whose intentions aren’t that good. He or she might be only planning to destroy your life.

The sad thing is that we never know the full intentions of someone, we spend our time with.

The best thing for you to do in a relationship is to be firm on what you believe is right.

Never change your moral principles just because your partners tell you to do so. You will be messing with your life.

If you have been following your norms and you know that they are correct don’t ever walk away from them.

This is what will make you independent in your relationship. If she or he loves you let him or her love you the way you are.

Don’t let him or her change you in a way that you believe isn’t right. The moment he or she finds you to be a principled person he or she will also live in them.

If he or she notices that you are a person who can be influenced easily he or she might end up using that weakness in any way that he or she wants.

It happens in relationships.

4. Make friends while you are in your relationship.

Being independent in a relationship is the ability of you to stand on your own without your partner’s help.

So if you are in a relationship and you keep on cutting off your friends because of your partner then you are not being independent.

I know most people are jealous but if your partner is secured he or she will understand the need for you to make friends.

How will you stand on your own and make your connections keep on growing? The moment you make friends while you are in a relationship you get to learn so much that will even help you take your relationship to the next level.

Make the decision of increasing your friendship circle on your own. Make friendship but in a positive way that won’t affect your relationship.

The moment you make friends you won’t be always depending on your partner to hang out with you every time even if he or she is busy.

Though, I do agree that for you to add excitement and make yourself happy in a relationship is mainly focusing between the two of you, but the truth is that the actions that you do out of your relationship can also have a positive impact on your relationship.

Don’t let your partner be the only person you can have fun with. I mean you can play volleyball, swim, and play baseball with someone even if he or she isn’t your partner.

The main purpose for this is for you to be independent — so that you don’t rely too much on your partner to kick away your boredom.

5. Take yourself on dates sometimes.

This is another way you can be independent in your relationship. You don’t always have to go out on dates with your partner.

Make time for yourself and rethink who you are, where you are coming from and where you are going.

Have time to treat yourself and enjoy the time alone.

You don’t have to be always attached to your partner. It might be too much for your partner and your relationship will eventually start to bore you.

You might like this: 6 reasons why your relationship is boring(+ how to fix)

Have dates with yourself and enjoy some pizza 🍕 and milkshake on your own.

This isn’t being selfish but it’s being independent. When you manage to be independent in such a way even if anything bad happens in your relationship; let me say it fails, you will not be so much affected compared to someone who was totally dependent in a relationship.

Another thing is that you will be able to move on easily without problems after a short while because you were independent.

6. Keep on maintaining yourself and be in a good shape.

You will be independent when you keep on maintaining yourself in your relationship. The main thing that I want to talk about here is self-care.

It doesn’t mean when you have got someone who loves you to the moon and back, you will stop taking care of yourself the way you used to.

Loving yourself should never stop. Don’t give out too much for someone else to an extent you forget your own soul.

Continue buying yourself cool clothes and shoes from NewChik and eBay if you are capable of doing so. If you are struggling financially don’t worry keep on working towards your goals you will be fine one day.

The main point is that never stops taking care of yourself and never stop loving yourself either. You deserve much love before giving it to someone completely.

Don’t take care of your partner too much until you forget taking care of yourself.

7. Always offer to help your partner many times over your lover.

This is one thing you should always practice if you want to be independent in your relationship.

Don’t be the kind of person who is always open to receive help but he or she won’t be the first to offer the help to his or her lover.

If you are reading this article and your partner gets to read it you will obviously be competing.

Everyone will want to offer help but not to receive it. Anyway, such kind of a competition will build both of you together with your relationship.

The moment you be the kind of a person who always offers help to his or her partner then definitely you will get used to handling your own issues without much help from anyone.

This is what will make you independent in your relationship. In such away your partner will love you even more because your care for him or her will increase.

8. Explore more talents that you may have.

If you want to be independent in your relationship this is something else that you might want to add to your bucket list.

Have time to explore the new talents you have even if you are in your relationship. You never know that what you will find you have in you will even make you stronger and helpful to yourself and the relationship you are in.

Sometimes we tend to think that we don’t have the power to do certain things in life. Like some people who keep on saying that they can’t start a business because they have never been interested in businesses at all.

Let me tell you something about that. The things that you claim you can’t do you might end up doing them even better.

The main reasons you should do this in your relationship is to be able to stand more on your feet and find more things that you can hold on to despite the relationship.

The moment you keep on exploring the things you like and know the more you will keep on growing and becoming independent and responsible.

Love can make you a better person and make your life more amazing if only you perceive it in the right way.

You might like this: 7 Ways How Love Can Make You A Better Person.

What is being independent in a relationship?

Being independent in a relationship is the act of a person standing for himself/herself in a relationship without relying too much upon his/her partner for his/her happiness or personal growth. The moment a person keeps on doing things that make him/her grow without depending on his/her lover then he/she is being independent.

The relationships you choose on engaging let them make you better day by day instead of ruining yourself.

You will benefit so much from and you will eventually become the better version of yourself and you will learn how to love yourself and take care of your partner.

What does it mean to be independent in a relationship?

Being independent in a relationship it does mean that an individual in a relationship becomes more bold and strong to stand for himself or herself by continuing to promote his or her personal growth without depending so much on his or her partner.

The moment a person stands for himself or herself by and avoiding to rely too much on his or her partner’s help then he or she is being independent.

Your partner should be one part of your happiness but not completely depend on him or her for your happiness.

Furthermore, your lover shouldn’t be your source of income but a person who would help you to grow financially. This is what it means by being independent in a relationship.

What does too independent mean?

Being too independent means that a person doesn’t even at a small point rely on someone else for his or her happiness or personal growth. He or she keeps doing things on his or her own like she or he has no one around him or her.

Can you be too independent for a relationship?

You can be too independent in your relationship if you decide to focus on yourself so much and making the relationship is all about your personal growth than an aim of finding sanctuary from it. You shouldn’t keep so much energy on trying to be independent because you might ruin the relationship.

Being too independent is a bad thing in a relationship. The main reason why I’m saying this is that it might make you forget your partner.

It might make you feel that your partner is like an object which keeps you exploring more about your weakness and strength.

When you are being too independent in a relationship your partner will realize this. Once he or she knows this your relationship might start having some challenges.

You might like this: top common challenges in relationships(+management ).

Your partner might think that you don’t really love him or her and that you are only using her or him for your personal gain.

In which at some point I can say it’s what you will be doing. So being over-independent in a relationship is something you should avoid.

This is because the main reason you entered the relationship is to find happiness from each other and this will not be an aim.

To sum it up, it’s very important to learn to be more independent in a relationship. This is because it will keep on making your relationship, even more, better as time progresses.

Note: Being too independent in a relationship isn’t a good thing. You will end up making your partner feel that you don’t value him or her. She or he might end up feeling worthless.

When this happens you might find your relationship never working out the way you expected.

You might like this: why most relationships never work out.

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Can you be independent in your relationship?

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Abduljabbar Ramadhan Ali

Hello, I'm Abduljabar from Mombasa, Kenya. I'm a passionate blogger and a friendly man. Here is my blogs (Her Beauty)