Don’t Force Them Stay When They Don’t Want To.

Abduljabbar Ramadhan Ali
6 min readAug 1, 2019

My recent post I talked about the importance of networking and communication.
You might have understood the need of this connection and network with every person you meet in your life. This can make you have a great ambition to make new friends whenever you go. Something you should note, not everyone will appreciate you interact with them, or make a friendship with them.

They will never tell you that they don’t want you in their lives. What will it make you know that these people are not in need of you? Simply, their actions. They will not reply your texts, they will pretend to be too busy to talk to you, they will always give an excuse to avoid you.

You have clearly made your mind that these people you are calling them friends are the ones to determine your success. They are the ones to give you morale and support of any kind you need in your life to make it. What you find out is that they are all trying to pull you down. They are all jealous of what you do. Whenever you try to make a move in your life, they will always give you a negative comment.

You start to feel maybe it is you, who is on the negative truck, it is you who is not in the chain of the relationship, it is you who is making them to act that way. You spend hours of your night thinking of what you should do to create the friendship that was there before. You are trying to find way to fix the broken parts. At last you do nothing but exhaust yourself. The friends you intend to please in order to have them back in your life, they are not even willing to look at you.

Your life is going banana. Every part part of you feels that you can’t do anything without the friends you used to have. The fun you used to have with them is no longer there again. It makes you feel you are lost, faded, with no hope to make it in your life. You find life has no meaning at all. Every part of you is surrounded by darkness. You can’t find a reason to smile. The people you treasured most have abandoned you.

It is the worst feeling one can go through. Feeling isolated, neglected by the people you had hope they would take you to another step of your life. When they leave you at the way, your dreams are shuttered. You lose hope completely even to see the other side of life. Weakness now comes to be part of you. It is so hard to escape from such a feeling. Especially when they were people you were always too much close with.

Everything that you do reminds you of the good memories you had together. Every place you visit they left their mark when you were together. Them leaving you they created a scratch that will never get erased in your heart. No family can heal such a wound. We can leave without family and girlfriends/boyfriends, but we can’t live without friends.

Friends gives us a psychological balance, makes us feel secure and safe whenever we go. They impact our lives in the ways that we desire. With them in our lives, we have the ability to reach where we want in our lives. That why most people usually advises us to choose wisely the friends we want to keep in our lives.

The same friends, are the same people who are always available in our dark moments to show us the light. They make us do things we never had the courage to do. Our lives seems so perfect around them. We need them most in our lives.

We may want to make a perfect relationship with the friends. We may need to belong to one another more than just friends. Our goals might be so meaningful with the friendship we want to make with the people around us. This is because we feel to succeeded in our lives we need to have them.

You may want to make them the people you can smile with, share everything you have with them, share your secrets with them, cry and laugh together. You may want them to be the reason of your life enlightenment. Thousands of beautiful thoughts might have been based in your mind for the friendship you may want to build.

This is not the case. It does not always happen they way we expect. The people we want to long for each other, may have a different feelings from ours. They may only be available because they want to benefit something from you. “They are friends” This phrase makes you believe they are their for keep. Forever together.

You spend everything you have with them without caring. You give out all of you to make them happy. This is not the same case to them.

Others will be there for only some seasons. They come to you when they know they have no place to be. They take you as their last option, while you kept them as your priority. Besides, sometimes when you are more in need of them they ignore you. When you call them they don’t pick your phone call. When you visit they pretend to be held up.

You consider them so important in your life, but they end up chasing you away. Some will leave your life completely.

You should not worry about them anymore. I hope you know that not everyone will always be by your side no matter how hard you try. You will never always get what you want in your life. You have to accept the fact that people come and go. You should not keep people in heart. Don’t expect too much from them, because that is the reason we find ourselves with wounds that are hard to heal.

When they walk away from you, leave them. When you try to reach them but they don’t get back to you, leave them. When you are trying to please them and they feel you are faking, leave them. Leave them. Work your way forward. Don’t force people to exist in your life when they don’t want to be in it.

Stand strong. Walk in the dark. You will never forever be in the dark. You will eventually find the light. Stay true to yourself. Give yourself a self respect. Walk away too. You will make it even without their presence. Be optimistic. Understand that not everyone will stick with you through worst. Even your own shadow will leave you in the darkness.
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Originally published at on August 1, 2019.



Abduljabbar Ramadhan Ali

Hello, I'm Abduljabar from Mombasa, Kenya. I'm a passionate blogger and a friendly man. Here is my blogs (Her Beauty)